The Cop and the Anthem by O’Henry
This is the task to the lesson Making a Text Ironical. Re-writing Task.
Task: Re-write the following extract in an ironical tone:
The text adapted to a neutral tone:
Two waiters put Soapy with his left ear on the pavement. He rose on his knees, then to his full height, and beat the dust from his clothes. Arrest remained a dream. The Island seemed very far away. A policeman who stood before a drug store two doors away laughed and walked down the street.
Re-written versions:
Two waiters, like ancient guardians of the temple of divine mallard duck, helped Soapy to descend from the heights of his gourmet cravings to this mortal earth, and landed him on the dusty pavement with the speed of the fruit that helped Newton to discover the most important law of Mother Nature. Soapy arose slowly as a lazy Phoenix, and beat the dust from now not very confident coat. The voyage to the Island still remained phantasmal and unattainable. The fate in the person of the policeman laughed at the Soapy’s misfortunes and walked away from him, heading down the street.
***
Two waiters, like ancient guardians of the temple of divine mallard duck, helped Soapy to descend from the heights of his gourmet cravings to this mortal earth, and landed him on the dusty pavement with the speed of the fruit that helped Newton to discover the most important law of Mother Nature. Soapy arose slowly as a lazy Phoenix, and beat the dust from now not very confident coat. The voyage to the Island still remained phantasmal and unattainable. The fate in the person of the policeman laughed at the Soapy’s misfortunes and walked away from him, heading down the street.
***
Two well-built waiters carefully put Soapy with his left ear on the cold pavement. He slowly rose on his knees, then to his full height, and diligently beat the dust from his battered, worn-out clothes. Long-awaited arrest remained a sweet dream. The safe Island with a warm bed and three meals a day seemed very far away. A corpulent policeman with red moustache who stood before a small drug store two doors away loudly laughed and with a confident gait, humming something walked down the dimly lit street
***
Two full-bodied waiters put Soapy on the stone-hearted pavement. He rose on his knees, then to his full height, and flicked off the dust from his clothes. Arrest remained a far-away dream. The Island seemed unreachable. A policeman who stood before a brownish drug store two doors away laughed and walked down the street.
***
Two whitecoats forced Soapy to get down on his heavy knees, but he rose as
a mushroom after the rain to his full height and cleaned his decadent clothes.
***
Two strong waiters put poor Soapy with his left ear on the pavement. Immediately he rose on his knees, then, pushed strongly, to his full height, and hopelessly beat the dust from his clothes. Arrest remained a desirable dream. The cosy Island seemed very far away. A policeman who stood before a lightened drug store two doors away laughed ironically and walked away down the wide street.